I CAN MOONWALK!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
