GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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