I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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