just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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