do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize