I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
