mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
