grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize