kristin has been a bad kristin
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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