i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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