I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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