I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
