I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
