Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
