so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
