i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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