By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
