He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
