we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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