Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
