My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
