I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
