at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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