hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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