At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
