why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize