You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
