spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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