You're so nebulous sometimes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it's not cheating when I paid for it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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