oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My vagina just recognized that song.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
