The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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