I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
