If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize