i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
