theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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