used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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