Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
