eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
