forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize