I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
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