Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
