the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
