it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
