look no pants
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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