At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
