I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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