You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
