What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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