shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
