and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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