Sponge bath it is.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
