3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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