I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Are my feet made of real feet?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
