I cockslap morals
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
