the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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